I can’t believe it. A whole month went by and I didn’t write one post. Not one.

I feel really sad about that. It’s been a busy month. Actually, it’s a busy month within a busy twelve months. It’s like I have been on a treadmill and can’t find time to get off. Work has been relentless, and lately, strangely, it’s getting me down.

Today I managed to find some time to write. I’m working on an article I’ve been trying to finish for a good six weeks. The words are not coming easily because every time I get my head into the space, I can’t keep it there for long enough. It’s been an unsatisfying experience. Yet today, just finding one hour to spend on it made me feel so much better.

I have said this before, and I will say it again, hoping that by saying it, I can make it a reality: I must find time to write every single day.

But if I do, does that mean that my ideas will get watered down? This is a fear that doesn’t really make sense, because I think I’ve proven to myself time and time again that it’s not the more I write but the less I write that causes a greater watering down of my ideas.

The less I write, the less ideas grow. A bit like a garden without water. Before long, it’s so dry and barren you start to forget the possibilities. You can no longer remember when it was filled with lush, green grass, with flowers of all colours sprouting in all kinds of places, likely and unlikely.

This afternoon, I had trouble putting words together, and yet the hour I spent trying I flew in a zone of complete engagement and bliss. I was in Flow (Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi). Time disappeared. When it was time to stop for a work commitment, I did not mind so much.  I was fulfilled, replete.

And so I vowed to return to the writing space. Like a smoker vowing to quit, I know I will fall off the wagon, and I also know that when I do, I will just have to jump straight back on again. What is life if not an imperfect cycle of attempts to do good. Every now and then, something clicks into place. Hopefully my writing time is next in line.