We shouldn’t take people too seriously. People shouldn’t take us too seriously. Not all the time, anyway.

By this, I don’t mean that having one’s point of view acknowledged and respected isn’t important. It is. One of the most frustrating elements of human interaction for me is in fact that very thing: not being taken seriously. Hugh McKay wrote that the desire to be taken seriously rated as number one amongst the group he interviewed in his research for the book: What makes us tick: the ten desires that drive us.

What I mean by stating that we shouldn’t take people too seriously, is that everyone should have the opportunity to change his or her mind as a result of a change of perspective. I guess I put this in the category of the ‘never say never’.

Because though we think we know people, and we think we know ourselves, we actually don’t. Not completely, anyway. Things change, and changed circumstances often lead to shifts in thinking and in actions.

And so while I want my beliefs and wishes respected, it’s a relief to be given the opportunity to shift my position in the future if I so wish.

In my life, I have been surprised on a few occasions by changes of position from people whom I thought I knew so well. And I have changed my position on many things. That is the beauty and wonder of growing socially, intellectually and emotionally as we get older.

So when we hear defining statements coming from people, we should honour them, but not be too surprised if one day, they turn down an unexpected road.

Sometimes these ‘changes of heart’ will exhilarate us. Sometimes they will deeply disappoint. Where people position themselves is deeply entrenched in our own positioning. Shifts towards or away from us can hence be perceived in deeply personal ways.

Recently, I watched my elderly father make a monumental shift. I watched him as he absorbed the irreversible changes with which he was confronted, and knew what it was costing him. But he handled it with grace. Doing something he vowed he would never do, he nonetheless adjusted to the changes in his living arrangements with courage and dignity. I was relieved that he was able to put aside his earlier beliefs and reservations, opening his mind to new possibilities. Years, months, weeks, and even days before this change, I would never have guessed how he would have reacted.

You think you know someone.